ILY

I believe life truly starts having a meaning when you accomplish each of your goals by day, lay in the embrace of the one you love by night and are able to say: I Love You, and this is exactly what I need to make time on earth worthwhile.

3 years without even thinking of saying it to anyone is quite a long time. *

Duality

Lately been asking myself what I want

I’m riding a good wave and great things are happening, so what do I want?

Love, clarity, respect...stability? A turmoil-free emotional life perhaps…

Control yes.

It has become so reachable, I simply have to choose. Choose right.

But what is right?

To me it's only right to want to feel loved.

As selfish as that sounds, it's exactly what I need the most, to retire from this whirlwind of insecurities and step up, create something healthy, balanced, in conformity to what I want and need, safety..

He likes me. I like him. I love you.

Funny equation...

And although there isn’t yet a possibility of comparison between you two, I know for a fact that the best of me is without a shadow of doubt addressed to you, even if only mentally, secretly.

You're just like me. More than you think, more than you'll ever comprehend.

I myself don't understand how can I love someone as complex, challenging and emotionally awkward as me, but I do.

You're the first I think of, the only voice I yearn to hear when I can't stand everyone else.

You're the one I want to hold in your bad days.

It's you I want to kiss in my bad days. Everyday.

It's you, no substitute, no second version…

But things aren't that easy, and you, you aren't easy.

There's nothing I wouldn’t do for you, against all advices and common senses.

I'm your pet. I'm a porcelain doll with my uncertain fate in your slippery hands…

It's only right to be loved, yes...but in the end what really is the so called right?

Loving or being loved?

Being loved and not loving?

Wanting without giving anything in return..?

 

There is no substitute for love.

M'jayes/ jess ? I don't know who I am today..

Old locked up feelings I

Debato-me sobre mim mesma.
.

Não encontro no meu interior qualquer canto obscuro para poder arrumar "isto".

"Isto" que me rebentou pelas costuras, que me tumultua a razão e o instinto.
.

Não estou segura...Não consigo estar...

Penso que não vou resistir, cedem em mim as vigas alicerces do meu orgulho e contensão.

Quero aprisionar-te nos meus braços, embeber-te no meu cheiro, sufocar-te na minha existência.

Incendiar-te na minha loucura privada.

Saber que me pertences, que os teus lábios não mais abandonarão os meus.

Poder finalmente domar o meu remoinho emocional ao toque do teu ser no meu.

Desarma-me com o teu amor...
.

Debato-me sobre mim mesma.
.

Destruindo-me na derradeira tentativa de suportar a dor da descoberta da minha doença terminal.

És o meu câncer.

A minha ferida em carne viva.

O meu desejo de viver e morrer.
.

Ao teu redor, reduzo-me à ridicularidade de um alcoólico, sedento pelo seu vício predilecto..
Uma triste figura..

... à espera da minha cura

(01.05.2009 by Jess) porque recordar é viver!

Valquíria diz: " Amar não é opção, é um imperativo.

Há momentos que não admiramos quem amamos.

Mas o Amor permanece lá. camuflado, mas lá
O que há agora é desgaste.
Mas o Amor, esse está la e disso não se foge.
Espera-se morrer.
Um dia, se morreres aí terás escolhas

Ao Amor Jess, não renuncias nunca.
E tu tens sorte porque tens a chance de comparar,
Sabes ao certo o que é o Amor.


É Amor o que nos faz aceitar o inaceitável.

O Amor manifesta-se de várias formas e acho que tu devias gastar mais tempo a conhecê-lo.

Saber as reacções Dele...

by SGC

Diferente ~

" Não me mostre o que esperam de mim porque vou seguir meu coração!

Não me façam ser o que não sou, não me convidem a ser igual, porque sinceramente sou DIFERENTE!
Não sei amar pela metade, não sei viver de mentiras, não sei voar com os pés no chão.

Sou sempre eu mesmo, mas com certeza não serei o mesmo para sempre!

Gosto dos venenos mais lentos, das bebidas mais amargas, das drogas mais poderosas, das ideias mais insanas, dos pensamentos mais complexos, dos sentimentos mais fortes.


Tenho um apetite voraz e os delírios mais loucos.
Tu até podes me empurrar de um penhasco que eu vou dizer:
- E daí? EU ADORO VOAR! "  - Clarice Lispector

Fate has brought you along just to show me that there’s life after a devastating Love;

And that a gentle kiss can still cause me to feel the butterflies.

You were right there trying to show it to me all this time…only now I’m starting to find my way back.

(You)phoria

They say certain states of euphoria -such as love - often impair your judgment;

Clouding your will and beliefs; And your personality, pff..gone, completely altered and defined by a strange body of emotions that isn’t your own.

Loving you is entirely out of my jurisdiction, out of my competence to absorb and deal with.

Loving you is something I never thought possible after all I've been through, and learned not to do.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, until a few days ago I would drop anything I'd be doing just to attend to you;

To make you happy, regardless of I what I wanted in the first place.

I wanted more from you, so much more, but that didn’t seem relevant when I was presented with the options of having you in my life for only brief moments or not have you at all.

It was less than I deserved, but I took it, because I love you.

It's a shame to see all that effort go to waste in a minute..

I was the one who should have chosen to pull away, but instead I stayed, ready to face the fate you single-handedly decided to set for yourself and I.

For some reason you couldn’t even stand by your decision long enough..

Makes me wonder if I'm perhaps the only one with the clouded judgment and in between those states of euphoria.

Regardless of what it is, it has come to that time..

the time to move on. 

MJ

....

* (So what do you do when it hurts being near someone you madly fell for so bad that you can't even stand being in the same room but can't seem to manage being away from them either?

Oh wait,  that's easy, you basically go insane..double check that!)