Duality

Lately been asking myself what I want

I’m riding a good wave and great things are happening, so what do I want?

Love, clarity, respect...stability? A turmoil-free emotional life perhaps…

Control yes.

It has become so reachable, I simply have to choose. Choose right.

But what is right?

To me it's only right to want to feel loved.

As selfish as that sounds, it's exactly what I need the most, to retire from this whirlwind of insecurities and step up, create something healthy, balanced, in conformity to what I want and need, safety..

He likes me. I like him. I love you.

Funny equation...

And although there isn’t yet a possibility of comparison between you two, I know for a fact that the best of me is without a shadow of doubt addressed to you, even if only mentally, secretly.

You're just like me. More than you think, more than you'll ever comprehend.

I myself don't understand how can I love someone as complex, challenging and emotionally awkward as me, but I do.

You're the first I think of, the only voice I yearn to hear when I can't stand everyone else.

You're the one I want to hold in your bad days.

It's you I want to kiss in my bad days. Everyday.

It's you, no substitute, no second version…

But things aren't that easy, and you, you aren't easy.

There's nothing I wouldn’t do for you, against all advices and common senses.

I'm your pet. I'm a porcelain doll with my uncertain fate in your slippery hands…

It's only right to be loved, yes...but in the end what really is the so called right?

Loving or being loved?

Being loved and not loving?

Wanting without giving anything in return..?

 

There is no substitute for love.

M'jayes/ jess ? I don't know who I am today..