a breath between my two states of mind (2)

II

(...) When he wouldn't love me, I lost perception of whether the love I felt for him compared and weighed to the desire I had to run, of getting it out of my system, was stronger.

…feels like I'm cornered in this stupid little maze game, that I'm just too out of breath to keep playing.

I'm too vulnerable, wonder how it got this way…

It's as if I were a puppet Love is trying to mercilessly man-handle

(...)

I know now what triumphed: the desire of getting it out my system.

This has become too inconvenient.

I'm running, walking out on loving. Away from not being loved…

I choose to preserve myself. To love oneself always.

I think I might just be the wicked one after all…

M'Jayes ~

from "a breath between two states of mind II - 29.06.10 "